Monday, 10 July 2017
Post exam I've been a little unwell and feeling rather low. Slowly recovering physically but I'm still feeling rather lost - the question of what next? keeps arising. I want to get a job but finding one that is suitable; part-time, flexible hours, from home, that I can fit around patches of illness isn't going to be an easy task and I really don't know where to start with that one. So instead I'm focused on waiting for my results, having a bit of a break sorting things out that have been rather neglected while I study.
For example I am scanning into the computer all my university notes, in order to reduce the number of books and lever arch files that need storing - some cds or a dvd or a pen drive will be easier to store than 18 lever arch files! I'll still have books and notebooks to store but at least it will reduce it's size a little. I'm also in the process of planning redecoration of my bedroom. Anything to keep my mind off the wait for results while trying to regain as much energy as possible.
Results are due out in the coming weeks, so watch this space for news of that! I'll also try and write a little more often as things improve and I find things to write about; if theres anything you'd like to read about feel free to leave a comment and let me know! If I can write about it, I will.
Friday, 12 May 2017
As is now tradition on International ME Awareness Day in this post I shall share what it's like to live a day in my life, I'm writing it with a pounding headache so you'll have to forgive any mistakes!
I wake at around 8:30am, lying assessing the pain levels for the day. I slowly peel back the duvet and move my legs to the floor so I'm sitting on the edge of the bed, there I stay for a few minutes making sure I don't get dizzy, before putting my slippers on and gathering a few bits ready to make my way down the stairs, slowly but steadily holding onto the rail.
I get my breakfast, and take my morning painkillers. Then make my way back up the stairs again to get some clothes for the day. I have a short rest before heading to the bathroom to get washed and dressed. I then sit with a cup of tea for half hour or so.
I get my study materials out ready to commence a short study period. Spreading them out across the sofa and on a little table as I'm unable to sit at my desk for long. After about two hours (sometimes less) I stop, having had some rest breaks in between. I get my lunch and have a bit of a rest before watching an hour of TV. Another rest follows, before doing another activity; sometimes knitting, or something else not as intense as study, occasionally though it will be another short study session.
Come 4pm I'm starting to feel fatigued and have another rest, before getting up to help cook dinner, either by sitting reading the recipe off or sitting on my perching stool by the hob actually helping with the cooking.By 7pm it's time to curl up on the sofa in my pyjamas. I might watch a single TV show. I have a hot drink and come 10pm I get ready for bed, take some painkillers and begin the journey up the wooden hill (stairs) to bed. I write in my journal, then find the most comfortable position and wait for sleep to claim me.
As with previous years post this is just an average day. Some days are worse, some are better. I adjust my activity levels and the aids I use accordingly. But this is the amount of activity I can handle with no negative effects on my health. Anything more and I pay the next day.
Looking back on last year's post it's great to be able to see I've made progress, the stairs aren't as much of an everyday struggle as they were 12 months ago. Life still isn't easy but it's good to look back and see how far I've come.
Some things haven't changed since last time though, so I shall quote from my post back then:
"...when people visit I always put on a brave face, an act so they don't see just how bad the ME is. I don't do this for my sake, but to protect them from the truth. There are some who see the 'real' me now but it's taken a few years for me to 'drop the act' for them. And if they themselves are having troubles or stresses the 'act' of being better than I am and not letting on how bad I really am comes back to protect them. I don't want to add to their worries."
Tuesday, 2 May 2017
Well it's been longer than I intended between blog posts, but not to worry.
I've had some ups and downs these past few months but at the beginning of April I did manage to walk up the road to the corner shop and back on crutches! Unfortunately a week or so later my legs gave up on me again and I had to slowly build some strength back up; I'm getting there again though. Slowly but surely, I hope to do that walk again sometime this year.
Now as many of you will be aware, May is M.E. Awareness Month, and I usually make a big effort to raise awareness and quite often fundraise for an M.E. Charity. Unfortunately this year I'm going to have to take a step back; although my health is fairly good right now compared with what it has been previous years (touch wood it stays that way!) I'm on the final module of my degree, and unfortunately M.E. Awareness Month and the day itself (May 12th) falls in the final month of the course. I am currently preparing my final assignment and then have just over three weeks to revise for my exam, in order to manage that I don't feel able to do as much to raise awareness, or fundraise, this month. I will attempt to do my usual day in my life post but other than possibly sharing a few posts as and when I come across them on social media that will be my efforts this year.
I know from past experience I need to prioritise my energy and focus on my revision, especially as retaining information in my brain isn't the easiest of tasks thanks to M.E. I suppose in a way this blog post is a form of awareness, because most people wouldn't have to not participate in writing posts for awareness in order to be able to sit an exam. But such is life with M.E.
Until next time...